I feel ...

student: Sit down
me: mmm, today we learned, "I feel ..."
student: I feel Sit down

student: I feel angrish
me: you feel what?
student: angrish
me: angry?
student: yes, i feel angrish
(angry about english perhaps?)

me: who knows what "silly" is in korean?
(accompanied by slide of horse w/sunglasses and beanie hat)
student: teacher you so crajee

Is it...delicious?

Things I have eaten, as described by their labels or by Koreans:

"morning bread"

"raw cuttlefish body"

"spiced bread"

"persimmon vinegar fiber"

"glutenous collagen treat"

The Joys of Winter

This after the first snow and the roads being icy. In the car on the way to school.

Me (to my host dad): Does Wonju salt their roads?
HD: Yes, but Wonju is poor. Only a little salt.

The next day after the roads were so icy that teachers were 2 hours late to school.

Me (to my host mom): Why didn't Wonju salt the roads?
HM: City Hall was just moved to a new place in Wonju, and it's on a heated road. So, they didn't realize how bad the other roads are. (WOW! Way to go team Wonju!)
Me: That's ridiculous!
HM: Sometimes I email the government about it; do you want to email? I'll help you.

Random conversation about winter class.

Me (to my host mom): I found out when my winter class is. December 24th - Christmas Eve, December 25th - Christmas, and December 26th.
HM: That's too bad.
(My host mom explains what I said to my HD who is intently cleaning out our fish tank.)
HD (to me): Run away.

Gotta Love 'Em

We're doing American sign language connected with letters.

Me: Magic M. What words start with M?
Student: music
Student: mammoth (pronounced mamoseu...took me a while to get that one)
Student: monster
Student: MONEY!

Ok...normal enough.

Me: Nice N. What words start with N?
Student: number
Student: New York
Student: November

Normal enough still.

Me: Only O. What words start with O?
Student: October
Student: August... (No...that's A)
Student: Uzbekistan (Are you kidding me?! 1) That starts with a U. 2) Where the hell did that kid pull that word from?)

Me: Perfect P. What words start with P?
Student: pizza
Student: pie
Student: pumpkin pie (ooo...clever!)
Student: peace (WOOT!)

from my evening teachers' class

Mixing up the phrase of the day with the day's assignment:

Me: Do you have plans this Thursday evening?
Teacher: Yes. Monday...Monday..."I have a case of the Mondays."

and later....

Teacher: I have sports mania. TV mania! Movie mania! And sometimes (whispers conspiratorially)...alcohol mania.

STUV

What words start with S?
socket (WUUUUUUT???)
싸가지

What words start with T?
tell me, tell me, t-t-t-t-tell me
what's something you can eat that starts with T?
teacher
table
time
(correct answer: tomato)

What words start with U?
universe (impressive...)
USA
유도 (judo)
watermelon
omelet

What words start with V?
Volume (impressive)
바가지 (no)
very good
beautiful
blueberry

What do you put IN a vase?
김치 (kimchi)
correct american cultural answer: flowers

seeking: single Asian carnivore

We've moved on to personal ads here at Dong Middle School. (Note: Thanks, Heeb!)

HILLARY Personal ads are used for romance or friendship.
STUDENT And sex!

From a fill-in-the-blank personal ad exercise:

I am as attractive as my mother
me
Yoo Jae Seok (of Muhan Dojeon)
no

I like chicken (what a coincidence, me too!)
cookie

I have good eyes
two eyes
black and white eyes


I have yellow hair (I teach in Korea. This is a blatant lie.)


In my free time I like talking to you


My students have also told me that they want, variously, a rich man (or woman), one with "big chest," and a partner who is not fat. Personally, I want to be with the boy who is seeking a woman with "a beautiful heart."

I believe the children are our future

My classes have been working on future tense. Here are a few of my favorite sentences.


From a fill-in-the-blank "I will/You will/We will/They will" worksheet:

I will have an alligator .

I will study about squirrels .
You will not study about squirrels .

(Well fine, I didn't want to study about squirrels anyway.)


From fortune tellers/"cootie catchers":

You will be a hen.

You will eat a book.

You will be a useful man.

You will have many wifes. (Note: this was on the same one as the previous.)

You will have meat.

You will love girl. (From a girl; implies lesbianism as punishment?)

You will grow a robot pet.


From an exercise where my advanced second-graders had to speculate about the future to come:

"We will travel to the moon!"

"We will have robots!"

"We will have a food machine!"

I wasn't sure how to tell them that all of those things, you know, already exist.

i am not making this up

Playing Uno with my students:

Me: (shuffling cards) This is called shuffling. (deals cards) This is called dealing. (draws card from pile) This is called "drawing a card."

Me: (shuffles cards): What is this called?

Students: schu....schu....scarface???

From Disaster Movie Posters re: The Great Yeongcheon Disaster that Never Was

Big Disaster! Peoples dying...mother and son's fate?

Wow! People fly! If we have a hurricane...? Oh my god! It's real situation! Hurricane is so awful monster. People fly really! It's a spectacle. Expect real Hurricane. No dissapointment.

ERUPTION. Scared. Exciting. Humanism.

Misfortune City: Blizzard kill the Yeongcheon

FLOOD: Fight: to find money with a sea robber

Last year, I met flood in Yeongcheon. But I swimed. I survive. I got it.

-----------------

Interestingly enough, most of the posters featured drawings of pigs. Oink?

thanksgiving ...

me: what do americans eat for thanksgiving?
....blank stares....
me: ok who knows what is THANKSGIVING?
student: like chuseok
me: good, but AMERICAN style ... do you know what americans eat for thanksgiving?
student: RICE CAKES!!!

fruits and gifts

some interesting tidbits from 1st grade "fruits" lesson today

listen and repeat fun:
me: this is a PEACH
students: this is a peach (피치)
student0: 선어브비치도 있는데... (there is also sonofbitch)

"mike" and "mina" are the two main characters in our 1st and 2nd grde textbooks. so we watched a short clip introducing fruits at the market.
me: what did you see on the screen? WHO did you see?
student1: MIKE!
student2: MICHAEL
student3: MINA
student4: (singing) mariaaaa, ave mariaaaa (a la popular korean song)

me: i like grapes
student5: 선생님 왜 수박 싫어해요? (in korean) teacher, why don't you like watermelons?

me: i don't like peaches
student6: 왜요? 복숭아 맛있잖아요! (why not? peaches are so delicious!)
me: i have allergy
student6: (questioning look)
me: ALLERGY. i have AL-LER-GY
student7: 아~~ 오렌지가 싫데 (ohhh, she doens't like oranges)

5th grade english camp yesterday:
A: Welcome to my house!
B: Thanks for inviting me. I brought you something.
A: Oh, you shouldn’t have.

me: what does "oh, you shouldn't have" mean?
highlights:
*필요없다 (i don't need it/it's unnecessary)
*i have it already
*what should i bring
*you don't have anything

and my personal favorite:
i explained the situation a little more and role-played with one of the students: if you come to my house and you BROUGHT (showed exchange) me something and i SAY 'oh you should'nt have"- think in korean- what could that mean?
*더 가져오라!!! (BRING MORE!!!)

SEEN in Soko part II

Gems from the Korean front.

from a Halloween exercise

After filling in "My monster is," "My monster has," and "My monster likes":

My monster likes beefs

My monster likes people meat

My monster likes rice cake

My monster likes porno movies

My monster likes me

Not quite "Age of Aquarius"...

Zodiac lesson this week.

Me: "What is the Zodiac?"
Student: "Sun road!"

Me: "What are the characteristics of AB type blood?"
Student: "Psycho genius."

Me: "Okay, SUN SIGN. Repeat, SUN SIGN."
Students: "SUN SIGN!"
Girl singing to self: "You are my sun sign, my only sun sign..."

Cooking in Korea

We were doing a "strip story" using a cut up recipe that the students would have to put in logical sequence. We were checking the student's answers for samgyetang. Mind you, this is in front of the Kangwondo Board of Education.

Co-teacher: "What is the first step in cooking samgyetang?"
Student: "Catch the chicken!"

[Laughter.]

Notebook at Lotte Mart

"Do not ever stop keeping going!

... People are watching you..."

Ominous to say the least.

Are you Russian?

Upon meeting 정준호, his first question to me, in English, was

"Are you Russian?"

The look on my face was "WTF?!" Later on he told me to marry Korean.

SEEN in soko

oh, elementary

me (M): what day is today?
student (S): ANGRY

M: how are you feeling today?
S: thursday
M: no no, how are you FEELING today?
S: oh, cloudy
M: hmm, are you feeling HAPPY? are you feeling very sad? are you very tired?
S: very thursday

M: how are you feeling?
S1: TUESDAY!!!!
S2: NO!! (glares at S1) Teacher, I'm feeling cold

M: this past weekend i went to busan, Miss Christine went to busan
S1 (in korean): ohhhh, she went to busan
S2: teacher, parents in busan?
M: no, i went to the international film festival
S1(in korean): she played basketball!!!
M: (confused) no no i went to see MOVIES, FILMS
S1 (in korean): she saw a movie about basketball!
M: no no no (with the BIG X hand motion and shaking my head)
S2: she was in a movie about baseball?
S1: no she was in a movie about volleyball ....
M: (realization) no no.. FESTIVAL!!! FESTIVAL not BASKETBALL
S1&2: (confused looks)

6th grade english camp role plays

S1: what would you like for dessert?
S2: i'll have the orange juice please

S: i recommend the famous, it's very delicious.

S1 (doctor): what is your problem?
M: umm, let's change that
S1: ok, what is the matter with you?
M: let's try "what seems to be the problem?"

Random Quotes from Korea

"Yor're, Exuberant in Maskdance!" (Banner at mask festival)
Me: What the hell is Yor're?
Ariah: It's this magical word that when put in front of any sentence, it makes all Korean grammatical errors disappear.

Me: How are you today?
Student: I'm happy!
Me: How are you today?
Student #2: I'm happy!
Me: How are you today?
Student #3: I'm super duper!
(Where did that come from?)

"LUSTY...in good heart."
~A SECOND grader's shirt

"I went to ride my husband." (Translation: I went to pick my husband up from work.)
~My host mom

"Are you crazy?!"
~ My host dad to my host mom (in a loving way!)

"Buddha says, 'Don't eat dogs.'"
~ My host dad

Discussing stereotypical male ideas of women in Korea.
"Men think women should be in the house, not me. I don't want to work.
(To his wife) Please, go work!."
~ My host dad

"If I drink Soju, I will sleep with toilet."
~ My host dad
*I then explained "Pray to the porcelain God."

My host dad telling a story from the states:
Host dad - Do you have a righter?
Convenience Store Owner - Righter?
Host dad - Yes, righter...smoke smoke...cigarettes...
Convenience Store Owner - righter? righter? oh, lighter?
Host dad - That's what I said! Righter!

Korean shirt: "I'm afrain of Americans."

words that do NOT start with P

because they do not start with p, or are not words
FIFA
free
prease
parcen (he spelled it out for me)
percel (he tried again)

words/phrases that DO start with P
pig 똥 (ddong/poop)
PICNIC (the superspeller from above told me what he meant in korean)
pool (which i heard) and pull (which he meant) (which prompted a new mini lesson for the other classes on pronunciation)
PC bang

they had many other words that successfully started with P, but these were my superstars

(i could actually do a really good post on almost every letter i've done so far, english spelling is confusing- the words that start with N and O would've been a super good post)

learn vs. Run

so i begin every class with a short review of last week's lesson. an adorable anecdote from today:

ME who remembers what we LEARNED LAST WEEK???
ME hmm? who remembers what we LEARNED LAST WEEK??? (huge arm motions backwards to signify chronological past)
COTEACHER what's last week? we learned last week, last week is 지난주 (in korean)
STUDENTS :blank stares:
COTEACHER what is LUHN? we learned "luhn" (bless her heart, this is how she pronounced it)
STUDENTS 달리기! 달리자! 뛰어라! (in korean:racing! let's race! RUN!)

Hapkido

Emails from my students make me smile. Enjoy:

"hapkido is punch(hand movement), kick , a break-fall, and self-defens
It is very useful. late night , wacking in the a side street
bad man!!!!!hoodlum

hoodlum: hey girl, come on
girl:No! No, scare~~~~~
hoodlum touched girl

girl change another personality
girl play self-defense"

I love my girls so much!

oh, fake homonyms

Haiku and nature

ME: what do these things have IN COMMON? what does COMMON mean?
BOY: COME ON!!!!
BOY 2: (korean) why does she keep telling us to "come on"?

ME: "Gloom" Who knows what GLOOM means?
BOY: guuruum (구룸-cloud)

GIRL: teacher, i am done haiku
ME: you're missing one syllable here, this is only 4
GIRL: no, I LIKE EN-GEUL-ISH
ME: english is NOT 3 syllables

Jeremy-don't feel bad about being called "ajussi"
i got my new school ID card w/these photoshopped headshots (apparently this is normal?)

STUDENT 1: (playing with my ID) this doesn't look like you teacher
ME: oh? why not?
STUDENT 1: the picture is very pretty, you are not even wearing any makeup today
(the following day)
STUDENT 1: (knocking on my open door) teacher?
ME: yes?
STUDENT 1: oh, i didnt recognize you because you're wearing makeup today

oh Audrey

HILLARY okay, who can tell me what this is?
CLASS lake!
HILLARY what about this?
CLASS river!
FAT KID, SINGING TO HIMSELF Moon river...

I UNDERSTAND KOREAN

so i've been doing an advanced group of 3 6th grade boys for the past 2 weeks. they wanted to practice writing so i picked a short NYTimes article on venezuelan naming law changes, pick out the vocab i think they will have trouble with/would be interested to know and spend 30 minutes thinking up the BEST most accurate definitions i can, then think up 3 amazing essay questions and email this to the boys.

the next day in class: (all in KOREAN)
dennis: hey did you read the article?
bill: no, i just read the questions and answered #3
dennis: [puts his hand up for a high five] me, too!
bill: [returns high five] it was easy
me: I UNDERSTAND KOREAN!!!!
boys: surprised look of "oh yea, oops" followed by unapologetic laughter

i was so incredulous at these boys! especially bc they KNEW i spoke korean and we had conversed in korean previously. lol, i guess they jus randomly forgot bc they were in english class.

Shakespeare would be proud

We're playing Telephone this week, using archaic English words and phrases. In the game, the last girl in line has to run to the board and write what she heard.

In my first class, "thou art fair" somehow mutated into "thou fart."

I'm serious: "thou fart."

Naturally, no one in the class knew what "fart" meant, so I had to explain it somehow. At a loss, I drew a picture of a cute little butt tooting out a puffy cloud.

So yeah, add that to the list of things that I never thought I'd do as a teacher in Korea.

and if you believe that, I've got some money I'd like you to help me transfer from a Nigerian bank account

HOST BROTHER I love California!
HILLARY Why?
HOST BROTHER Is very nice.
HILLARY Have you ever been there?
HOST BROTHER No.
HILLARY How do you know?
HOST BROTHER Internet.

Do you have any Curry Powder?

In my beginning adult class, we have been learning how to go shopping. I was originally going to do this in one lesson, but I realized that shopping is a pretty big deal, and the vocabulary changes depending on where you are (e.g. aisle : supermarket :: floor : department store). For each lesson, I've been having the students perform the following dialogue (simplified for your reading brevity):



A: Do you have any ______?
B: Yes, ______ is on aisle 5.
A: Thank you.
B: Anything else?
A: Do you have any ______?
B: I'm sorry. We don't have any.
Etc.


I for the blanks, I have the students generate their own vocabulary to use, which I then write on the board and they talk about in Korean for a while to make sure that everyone understands it. When we went shopping in the supermarket for instance, the first two vocabulary items they generated were Curry Powder and Cabbage, thus the dialogue read:


A: Do you have any curry powder?
B: Yes, curry powder is on aisle 5.
A: Thank you.
B: Anything else?
A: Do you have any cabbage?
B: I'm sorry. We don't have any.


This led me to a curious question:

In what dimension does an American supermarket carry curry powder but not cabbage?!

To my knowledge, the above metaphysical quandry did not phase the ajuma in my class in the slightest.

The Root of all Evil

In my lesson this week we touch on the term "telescope." So I write it on the board and ask them for other "tele-" words, like telephone, television, etc. Then I do a quick explanation of the root "tele-" meaning "far" and we move on. However, this morning a new term joined the usual suggestions.

Class 101's offerings:

Television
Telephone
Telepathy
Teletubby

Class 101, you're my problem children, and I love you ^^

and like that vegetable, it tastes good mashed

HILLARY What does Jeju-do look like? Can anyone give me a word that says what Jeju-do looks like?

STUDENT (almost inaudibly) Potato?

True answers

I ask my students about my city's festivals, when they are, what happens, etc.

My city has a grape festival, at which the main event is, apparently, Miss Grape.

Is she like a Rodeo Queen? Or maybe a Strawberry Shortcake character?

There were some OiSK moments lately but I forget them all, or I've already blogged those bad boys.

intro lesson, and teacher miscommunications

Intro lesson:
so at the end of every lesson i've started this thing where my 1st and 2nd graders line up and MUST say one COMPLETE sentence in english from our lesson before they are allowed to leave the classroom. this week is my first so we did an intro lesson practicing the phrases "My name is/I am x years old/My favorite color is .../I like to (verb)"

2nd grade boy: My name piano.

the adorable thing is i could see him mouthing/practicing this phrase over and over again whilst in line, waiting his turn. his dedication to the task was impressive. (A FOR EFFORT)

Teacher miscommunication:
there is this korean teacher, i wrote about him on my blog, who alwys insists on using the WORST english in the world to talk to me ... and i was suppsoed to help him reserach something on the internet and he was supposed to meet me in my classroom at 1pm and i messaged him on Cool Messenger around 12:30 to remind him of 1pm appt. and said "i look forward to seeing you" and i came back from lunch and this message on my door.

"I have gone here. Because of massage. But I come here. no person. I go my classroom. Give me massage"

i was SOOOO confused. i thought he meant he LEFT here because he was getting a massage. and i was sooooo confused .... then i figured it out a little ... and sent him a mEssage ... and he came and we worked out that he came early due to misunderstanding "looking forward" - he thought it meant we're pushing the meeting time up earlier.

cheers. i'm sure my 1st graders will have some good ones tomorrow

hobbits in korea

Answer to my homework question, "What are your hobbies?":

-"My hobbit is make foods."

아저시

Said to me in TKD class by an eight year old:

"아저시, 처기."

Freely Translated: "Old man, stand over there."

I must look really old if people are calling me "어저시" now...

L and R...GET IT RIGHT!

Election. Erection. BIIIG difference.

actual responses to the question, "Please call me..."

male edition

Famous Singer

Mr. Kim

Wonder Woman

Superman

Dog Baby

Raccoon



female edition

Beautiful House

Cow

Happy Pig

Banana

Sexy Geir

Pooh

(x) No, please.

had to add

sorry, but this is HYSTERICAL, i jsut fell out of my desk chair.


d: theres a picture of me with this white dude
d: and he had red eye
d: and my friend went to remove it on photoshop
d: and it photoshop removed my face

- jing, on turning red from alcohol


i have no idea who this jing person is, other than a friend of a friend. i was reading her blog and this made me fall out of my chair so i figured it was worth sharing.

i guess i'll be first

so, this isn't actually an "overheard in korea" (OIK) but things that i have been typing: (so embarassing)

I feeled (omg I just really did type “feeled”) FELT very special and loved

plus now i wish i had a teeny tiny computer that doesnt way a million lbs..
p.s. i cant believe i just typed WAY isntead of weigh

there have been more, but usually i correct myself before i send the messages